What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize