I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
