He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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