Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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