The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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