someone get that fucking seahorse.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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