you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
