found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
