I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
