She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
