he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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