I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
