The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
