Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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