If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My bed smells like the plague
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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