the condom got lost in my hair
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
