Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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