yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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