the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
