paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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