first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
