just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just had sex on a roof
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
