Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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