Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize