Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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