my vag is so smooth its legendary
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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