rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
