those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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