A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
