this beer tastes like vomit already
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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