everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
