I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
babies were throwing up all over the place
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
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Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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