I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
