So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize