worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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