last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
