He is an equal opportunity slut.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
