my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
