My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
