He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
