There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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