hotel room ftw
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
