dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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