i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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