Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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