I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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