Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
