"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
