It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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