Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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