I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
