dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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