I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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