I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im holly from the hills drunk
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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