if i can run in heels then i can drive
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
