C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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