Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
