it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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