WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
