Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
