If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize